i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
