its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
