I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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