Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
