I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize