Can i not drive my cunt home
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I look better un-naked...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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