I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
