look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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