i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
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We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
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I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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