In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
