I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize