So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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