You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it