he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We need a shit load of segways right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever