Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
