Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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