Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.