Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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