operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
