I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
