thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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