I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
