It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize