imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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