At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
