The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm too high and old for this...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
