You made me cry and you don't even care
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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