the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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