Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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