I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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