Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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