I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
