Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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