I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
zippers are such a cool invention
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
