when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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