Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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