I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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