barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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