I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize