I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
