i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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