i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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