i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
