i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize