if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
