Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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