Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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