uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
