I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
