Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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