No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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