I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
