I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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