you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
