where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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