Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't put those talents on a resume
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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