this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
