we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize