Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
