Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize