I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
