she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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