what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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