I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
